Dear Diary:
Sunday.
6AM.
Lovely early morning.
Rain.
Sun.
Rain again.
Candles lit.
Cozy.
Taste test kitchen reopened.
So many weeks of missing.
Kitchen is an old, odd friend.
Awkward movements.
Too much time away.
Brunch.
Popovers.
Learned the trick to success.
Amazing lovely pieces of culinary art.
Feeding the soul.
Feeding the girlfriend.
So, so special.
Interrogation questions ready.
Optimistic.
Enjoy this feeling until it’s gone.
Dear Diary:
It begins again.
First night.
Substitute.
Really?
Really.
Condescension.
Disagreement.
Really?
First project.
Here we go again.
What am I missing?
Dumb it down.
Permission one time.
Tell me how to think.
Can make a cheat sheet for the final.
Wonder if that’s a bad sign.
Wonder if I can get the whole book on one side of one page.
Got most of half the book on it.
Breach of class contract by professor.
Baby Jesus moment.
Full credit for all on demurrer.
Joy!
Take final.
Sketchy.
Cheat sheet.
Some help.
Then not so much.
Made to the end of this bad boy class.
Amazement for all.
Numb mind.
Relieved body.
Sleep
______________________________________
Wake up.
Feel fabulous with a touch of headache.
Weird dreams about old boyfriend.
Fun.
But odd.
Four assignments due tomorrow.
Should read instructions first.
Post note on computer to read instructions first in the future.
Hate details.
Wish I could just do all this shit my way.
My way is more fun.
Do it her way.
And I do.
Dear Diary:
Wake up.
Feel pretty good.
Figure out 96 hours until Monday night at 7:15.
Minus 24 hours for sleep and class.
72 hours.
More than enough.
Hours of research.
Good results.
Remember I have another class.
Do something to address that.
Friday night.
School books are my date.
Sleep.
_______________________________________
Dear Diary:
Wake up.
Lose an hour.
Need that hour.
Panicky
Have found no case law that works.
For anything.
Fight the legal search engine.
It spits out nothing.
Queen of the search engines falls off throne.
Call legal search engine for help.
Hot guys tries hard to help.
Finds only one case out of thousands?
Doesn’t help.
He tells me to move to another state.
Only CA and VI require demurrers.
Wonder if France requires them.
Put anything on paper.
Hope it fixes itself.
A hundred emails between classmates.
All in trouble.
Feel less alone.
Research anything and everything I can think of.
Still have two more assignments to do.
Have not started either.
Swallow breathing.
Haven't moved in hours.
Think about taking a walk.
Think about how much time that will waste.
Do some more.
Exhausted.
Think I need to sleep.
The baby Jesus shows up.
11:30 PM find case law.
Wish I had found it two days ago.
Redo a bunch of stuff.
Go to bed.
Lie in bed thinking.
Everything is due tomorrow night and I have nothing finished.
Force brain to shut off.
Sleep.
____________________________________
Dear Diary:
Slept an hour too long.
Only 13 hours before 7:15PM.
Caffeine.
Brain fog.
Reminded of how motivating fear can be.
Just do it.
Best proof reader/editor ever.
12:30PM finish first assignment.
Print.
An hour figuring out how to do next assignment.
Silently freaking out in my head.
Get it started.
Realize much is wrong.
Fix it.
Research.
Time is going by so fast.
Finish an hour earlier than expected.
Amazed.
It is done.
Really?
Print.
Did I really do this?
Feel tears coming.
There is no crying in paralegal school.
Go to school.
Look at classmates.
Shell shocked faces.
Misery loves company.
I love these people.
Really.
Think I have forgotten one assignment at home.
How can that be?
Quietly melt down.
Think it’s all over.
White hot heat crashes over brain.
Ask for help.
Someone who can read.
I have it.
Instant exhaustion.
Home.
Lap time for cat.
Have missed her.
Cat plays with her purple purse.
Secret behavior.
Allowed to watch.
Sweet, sweet, special reward.
Wine.
TV.
Sleep.
____________________________
Dear Diary:
Wake up,
Hours of glorious sleep.
Roll over.
One more hour.
No mainlining caffeine.
Everything is slower.
Mind is quiet.
Strange to not feel pressure.
Caffeine with jasmine.
Cat perched on leg.
Vanity Fair.
Heaven.
Feel tears coming.
The let down from so many days.
There is no crying in paralegal school.
Feel expansive love for everything.
So grateful.
Thursday night final exam.
Not counting hours.
I can do this.
_________________________________
Dear Diary:
5:30AM.
Awake.
Feel human.
10 hours of sleep.
Optimism returns.
Do laundry.
Watch the sky turn to day.
Caffeine with blooming jasmine.
Lap time for the cat.
Long hot shower.
Feel spoiled.
Reread demurrer assignment.
Have one good idea.
Need three more.
Too early to panic.
Three hours learning LEXIS.
Goldmine.
Print some good stuff.
Good day.
Sleep happy.
_________________________
Dear Diary,
Two happy days.
Have I lost that edge?
Work on fixing assignment for hand in tonight.
Become only mildly neurotic.
Only print 15 times.
Improvement.
Go to school.
Realize I might be in trouble with the invoice assignment.
Save that freak out for later.
Get next assignment.
Understand most of it.
Mind numbing.
Need to calculate how many hours before Monday night at 7:15PM.
Tomorrow.
Headache.
Need to sleep.
_____________________________
Dear Diary:
Wake up in the dark.
Still tired.
Look in mirror. Not good.
Hook up caffeine drip.
Walk past computer.
Swear.
Take caffeine outside to sit and look at pretty flowers in the garden.
Forget it’s dark.
Consume caffeine.
Wake up computer on the way to more caffeine.
First big decision: read daily blogs or not read daily blogs.
Read daily blogs.
Decide which of the 500 windows I have opened with things I thought I needed to know yesterday that I can close.
Close 2.
Start to feel smart.
Begin writing.
Start to feel dumb.
Have 5 minutes of utter brilliance.
Followed by what the hell am I supposed to be doing?
Refer to assignment instructions.
No longer understand English.
Write some more.
Wish the cat had a thumb and could cook and clean.
Read a million things online until I understand nothing.
Write some more.
Eat popcorn.
Go to bed.
___________________________
Dear Diary:
Dear God,
Please tell the baby Jesus to come help me. He has more help in his little finger than the entire internet.
Please tell him to get on it ASAP. Things are getting desperate around here.
Sincerely,
Me.
___________________________
Dear Diary:
Wake up.
Still tired.
Groundhog Day.
Need to remember elements.
I knew them yesterday and last semester.
I do not know them today.
Decide to look for the book.
No time.
Book is MIA under two discarded trees that are now all over the floor.
Decide to Google.
Love/hate relationship with Google.
Today it’s hate.
Find elements.
Print.
Kill a baby branch on the next tree.
Brain has gone into the stupid zone.
Continue to write.
Forget everything I knew an hour ago.
Hope tomorrow this all looks better than it does right now.
Pray the baby Jesus is on his way.
Write some more.
Go to sleep.
_____________________________
Dear Diary:
Wake up.
Still tired.
Can’t get out of bed.
Think about not ever in this life time being a paralegal.
Decide that’s the best idea of the day so far.
Get up.
Look in mirror.
Put on a hat.
Caffeine drip.
Wake up computer.
Try to remember when I loved my computer.
Decide that relationship can be salvaged later.
Don’t read blogs.
Check email instead.
Head implodes.
Classmate sent 5 emails asking for all the answers on the day this bitch is due.
Feel the need to send a soul crushing reply.
Write the reply in my head but don’t send.
Try to remember what I was thinking at 11:30 the night before.
Have no idea.
Write some more.
Think I’m finished.
Print final copy.
Mistakes.
Print 57 more final copies.
Over it.
Go to school.
Rid myself of that assignment.
Immediately realize all the things that are still wrong with it.
Try to get in touch with the baby Jesus.
Cry.
Go home.
Sleep.
_________________________
Dear Diary:
My professor says there are no fun jobs for a paralegal.
Reconsider the epic nightmare of my existence.
Maybe this will be a hobby.
I doubt it.
____________________________
Dear Diary:
Wake up.
Hell.
Headache.
So many f bombs the cat has left the building.
What was I doing yesterday?
I had a really good idea last night after I got into bed.
Was going to check it out this morning.
No idea what it was.
Brain is already failing.
Caffeine drip.
Wake up computer.
Freak out.
Updates have shut down the computer in the night.
Online forms are now all blank.
Try not to cry the ugly cry.
Reboot the brain.
Write some stuff.
I have no idea what it means.
Don’t understand English.
Sit in stunned silence.
Smell Spring.
Hear birds.
Ignore it.
Go to the store to buy 3 more tress I can kill.
Print.
Realize I cannot spell Plaintiff to save my ever loving life.
Cuss out online forms that don’t have spell check.
No time to fix it.
Go to school.
Do not hand in assignment early.
Do not get the extra 25 points.
Decide on the way home I will never ever be a paralegal.
Decide I am failing this class.
Decide I should have dropped this class.
Decide to move to Paris.
Feel better about all these decisions.
Treat myself to TV.
Fall asleep before the first commercial.
____________________________
Dear Diary:
Wake up.
Numb tired.
Wonder how long I can hold off coming undone.
Forgot to make the coffee last night.
Freak out.
Scare the cat.
Wonder what hurricane swept through my house.
Decide cleaning is more fun that faking brilliance.
Clean for 10 minutes.
Think about next assignment.
Look at next assignment.
Have no ideas.
Clean some more.
Wonder if I should be a maid instead.
Cry a lot in my head.
Caffeine with Facebook and Twitter.
Realize no one has said anything to me online in days.
Try not to hate.
Think about not starting the next assignment until the baby Jesus shows up.
Give myself three more hours to clean.
Start thinking going back to bed is a better idea.
Start thinking about all the recorded TV I have.
Starting worrying I will never get started today.
Wonder how Charlie Sheen is doing.
Wonder if the next three hours will be spent wondering and thinking about all kinds of stupid stuff.
Wonder where the baby Jesus is.
Decide free time is not good for me.
Start the next assignment.
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages
by Leo Buscalgia
Spring had passed. So had Summer. Freddie, the leaf, had grown large. His mid section was wide and strong, and his five extensions were firm and pointed. He had first appeared in Spring as a small sprout on a rather large branch near the top of a tall tree.
Freddie was surrounded by hundreds of other leaves just like himself, or so it seemed. Soon he discovered that no two leaves were alike, even though they were on the same tree. Alfred was the leaf next to him. Ben was the leaf on his right side, and Clare was the lovely leaf overhead. They had all grown up together. They had learned to dance in the Spring breezes, bask lazily in the Summer sun and wash off in the cooling rains.
But it was Daniel who was Freddie’s best friend. He was the largest leaf on the limb and seemed to have been there before anyone else. It appeared to Freddie that Daniel was also the wisest among them. It was Daniel who told them that they were part of a tree. It was Daniel who explained that they were growing in a public park. It was Daniel who told them that the tree had strong roots which were hidden in the ground below. He explained about the birds who came to sit on their branch and sing morning songs. He explained about the sun, the moon, the stars, and the seasons.
Freddie loved being a leaf. He loved his branch, his light leafy friends, his place high in the sky, the wind that jostled him about, the sun rays that warmed him, the moon that covered him with soft, white shadows. Summer had been especially nice. The long hot days felt good and the warm nights were peaceful and dreamy. There were many people in the park that Summer. They often came and sat under Freddie’s tree. Daniel told him that giving shade was part of his purpose.
“What’s a purpose?” Freddie had asked.
“A reason for being,” Daniel had answered. “To make things more pleasant for others is a reason for being. To make shade for old people who come to escape the heat of their homes is a reason for being. To provide a cool place for children to come and play. To fan with our leaves the picnickers who come to eat on checkered tablecloths. These are all the reasons for being.”
Freddie especially liked the old people. They sat so quietly on the cool grass and hardly ever moved. They talked in whispers of times past. The children were fun, too, even though they sometimes tore holes in the bark of the tree or carved their names into it. Still, it was fun to watch them move so fast and to laugh so much.
But Freddie’s Summer soon passed. It vanished on an October night. He had never felt it so cold. All the leaves shivered with the cold. They were coated with a thin layer of white which quickly melted and left them dew drenched and sparkling in the morning sun. Again, it was Daniel who explained that they had experienced their first frost, the sign that it was Fall and that Winter would come soon.
Almost at once, the whole tree, in fact, the whole park was transformed into a blaze of color. There was hardly a green leaf left. Alfred had turned a deep yellow. Ben had become a bright orange. Clare had become a blazing red, Daniel a deep purple and Freddie was red and gold and blue. How beautiful they all looked. Freddie and his friends had made their tree a rainbow.
“Why did we turn different colors,” Freddie asked, “when we are on the same tree?”
“Each of us is different. We have had different experiences. We have faced the sun differently. We have cast shade differently. Why should we not have different colors?” Daniel said matter-of-factly. Daniel told Freddie that this wonderful season was called Fall.
One day a very strange thing happened. The same breezes that, in the past, had made them dance began to push and pull at their stems, almost as if they were angry. This caused some of the leaves to be torn from their branches and swept up in the wind, tossed about and dropped softly to the ground. All the leaves became frightened.
“What’s happening?” they asked each other in whispers.
“It’s what happens in Fall,” Daniel told them. “It’s the time for leaves to change their home. Some people call it to die.”
“Will we all die?” Freddie asked.
“Yes,” Daniel answered. “Everything dies. No matter how big or small, how weak or strong. We first do our job. We experience the sun and the moon, the wind and the rain. We learn to dance and to laugh. Then we die.”
“I won’t die!” said Freddie with determination. “Will you, Daniel?”
“Yes,” answered Daniel, “when it’s my time.”
“When is that?” asked Freddie.
“No one knows for sure,” Daniel responded.
Freddie noticed that the other leaves continued to fall. He thought, “It must be their time.” He saw that some of the leaves lashed back at the wind before they fell, others simply let go and dropped quietly. Soon the tree was almost bare.
“I’m afraid to die,” Freddie told Daniel. “I don’t know what’s down there.”
“We all fear what we don’t know, Freddie. It’s natural,” Daniel reassured him. “Yet, you were not afraid when Summer became Fall. They were natural changes. Why should you be afraid of the season of death?”
“Does the tree die, too?” Freddie asked.
“Someday. But there is something stronger than the tree. It is Life. That lasts forever and we are all a part of Life.”
“Where will we go when we die?”
“No one knows for sure. That’s the great mystery!”
“Will we return in the Spring?”
“We may not, but Life will.”
“Then what has been the reason for all of this?” Freddie continued to question. “Why were we here at all if we only have to fall and die?”
Daniel answered in his matter-of-fact way, “It’s been about the sun and the moon. It’s been about happy times together. It’s been about the shade and the old people and the children. It’s been about colors in Fall. It’s been about seasons. Isn’t that enough?”
“That afternoon, in the golden light of dusk, Daniel let go. He fell effortlessly. He seemed to smile peacefully as he fell. “Goodbye for now, Freddie,” he said.
Then, Freddie was all alone, the only leaf on his branch. The first snow fell the following morning. It was soft, white, and gentle; but it was bitter cold. There was hardly any sun that day, and the day was very short. Freddie found himself losing his color, becoming brittle. It was constantly cold and the snow weighed heavily upon him.
At dawn the wind came that took Freddie from his branch. It didn’t hurt at all. He felt himself float quietly, gently and softly downward. As he fell, he saw the whole tree for the first time. How strong and firm it was! He was sure that it would live for a long time and he knew that he had been part of its life and made him proud.
Freddie landed on a clump of snow. It somehow felt soft and even warm. In this new position he was more comfortable than he had ever been. He closed his eyes and fell asleep. He did not know that Spring would follow Winter and that the snow would melt into water. He did not know that what appeared to be his useless dried self would join with the water and serve to make the tree stronger. Most of all, he did not know that there, asleep in the tree and the ground, were already plans for new leaves in the Spring.
Ohhhh…domino….you were a little Romeo! (That line is to be song to Van Morrison’s Domino. My all time favorite song.)
It has been several months since all things domino have to come an end. The magazine is gone. The website is gone. Click on a domino link today and you will find yourself at Architectural Digest. As if that site will scratch the domino itch. Conde Naste, again I must ask, “What ARE you thinking?”
Those of us blogging about domino worked very hard to change minds that were not to be changed. Some very amazing things came out of that effort, however. One of them was a phone interview with Stephanie Clifford of the New York Times. Whatever she has written hasn’t be published but, maybe I said something worth quoting! She found me through my domino posts.
Another was this comment in response to this:
And there was this: Several months ago, Nina Schwartz from Conde Naste was very kind to send me a few copies of domino, THE BOOK of DECORATING to use as a give away on my blog. I wanted to wait for all the domino angst to pass before having my drawing. Sometimes it’s such a great surprise to see something happen that you thought was all over! I will give away one book now and save the other one for another time. So…here we go!
Leave a comment here before 12AM on July 26th and you will be entered into the drawing. It really is just that easy!
There is an amazing collection of domino images put together by coco+kelley and friends on flickr. It is a FAB collection!
Have fun!
The 4th of July…I never know what I really think about this holiday. In many ways it is another one of those days where the anticipation is always greater than the event…that is until the fireworks go off and you live in a town where fireworks are legal and the night sky and street light up with magic! That part never fails. The hot dogs never fail. The rest of the day can be a crap shot.
I am also not a big fan of the whole red, white and blue fashion combo….unless it is on our flag and then it can bring tears. It is beautiful and it is as American as front porches, main street parades, apple pie and baseball.
A complete parade all in one wagon.
Happy Birthday to us…
My wish when I blow out my sparkler this year is that we will all be willing to do our part to make next year a better one for everyone, everywhere.
Two pop culture icons gone, one piece of pop culture resurrected.
MTV returned to it’s roots when it really was all about music videos and MJ helped launch it into pop culture stardom.
So many memories/events connected to MJ’s music…
I remember where I was when Elvis died. I will remember where I was and what I was doing when MJ died.
How did I feel about MJ? This blogger says it perfectly and better than I can:
http://joeposnanski.com/JoeBlog/2009/06/25/the-king-of-pop/
And Farrah...
I could –never- get my hair to look like hers and boy did I try.
And yesterday Johnny got his sidekick back…
My plan today was to head out to find those shops that are up on stilts attached to a bridge somewhere here. I was hoping to maybe find a new crown or some little gem I simply could not live without. As over the moon as I can get about the thought of a new crown, I was having a few second thoughts about the whole shopping in the air over the water idea as, if you recall, I had a near fatal drowning incident in Venice!
So, I was happy to hope that maybe something more fabulous might catch my eye and give me a new idea. And then it happened!
I stepped on this man’s face and look at his reaction! Of course, I immediately apologized.
Florence, the cradle of the Renaissance, is one big piece of art work, from the statues and cathedrals right down to its sidewalks...
People are creating their beauty and art on every corner…
and right out into the street…
With their chalk, they have painted a beautiful carpet of colors…
I started to walk faster and faster, so excited to tell Fifi all about a whole new canvas for her to cover. I turned a corner and…
I saw her…There was Fifi, surrounded by a huge group of her Italians fans, all excitedly speaking at once in…French...while she created the loveliness and beauty that fills her heart…Paris...right there on the street in Florence! She looked quite fabulous as she painted in her ball gown and took an occassional sip of French champagne. Oh, and there is a…sketch book? Oh Fifi…!
Do we need to flee to Lucca already?
Click play to get the whole experience. You will like it. So, do it!
I awoke today feeling wonderful and full of adventure so I after a coffee or 7 I ran to the front door to see if I might flag down a gondola. I have no idea if that’s how one does it here…treating them as if they are taxis… but I thought it was worth a try. To my luck or bad luck it turns out, there was one waiting right at the dock. I woke the man up and asked to be floated to the nearest cafe for a bite of breakfast. Of course I could have eaten at the palace but I wanted to mingle with all the lovely people of Venice and I know they wanted to see me! There was a most unfortunate accident, a bit of falling into the water, a bit of fabulous resuscitation and then a water ambulance…
Who knew ambulances floated?
This is the gorgeous hero who saved me, Alphonso D’Poalo..although I certainly wasn’t even close to death when I peeked out an eye and saw him, I might have swooned a bit! Once I was revived and redressed, I asked him to float me to someplace wonderful….
A man who knows my heart…he took me shopping! I might have fallen just a bit in love with him. But, as savior as he was, I had to move on with the research I promised…
Before my morning went array, I thought I might feature what all the lovely men wear when they are gondoliering those boats. Turns out, they all wear almost the same thing and that THEY are the fashion. Oh my, they are all QUITE fashionable!
I decided to ask each one to take me to a different place on the Grand Canal….
The lovely man above took me here…
The colors and bridges of Venice are a feast for the eyes.
And this yummy man took me down…
several side canals that are linked to the Grand Canal.
He tool me to see Santa Maria della Salute Church.
Next up is the amazing Romanesque Fabio! He spent hours floating me around everywhere speaking only in Italian so I have no idea what he was actually saying but in my mind, we were one!
It is so mind settling to just be at one with the scenery…
For years the men of Venice have been navigating the waters of Venice and they have done it in impeccable style.
But…no time for too much relaxation! I jumped out of the boat just in time to see Fifi and Karl’s fashion show! Karl always looks so…Karl.
It was a day of wonderful sights and fashions but it has all come to an end. As we were passing under one last bridge, many showed up to great me as we docked at the station! It was thrilling to see all my fans. But, a call from Fifi and…
We jumped in the first gondola that floated by our front door…and it was PINK!
We floated by some lovely pink places that thankfully calmed Fifi…
and we raced to our…
…getaway! Wait…this can’t be right! This was not the plan!
This is more like it!
Our next destination? Florence…don’t tell anyone! Just show up to see more of our FUN!
For more Fashionable Friday, see Fifi!
For more PINK Saturday fun, see Beverly at How Sweet the Sound !
When I heard that the FBI was still after Fifi and I, I knew I had go travel incognito! Fortunately, I had packed the perfect outfit for that kind of escape. Don’t you just love the bulls eye on my face? I do love a bit of drama!
Who knew the FBI agent after us would be so…hot! I do hope he catches me before he catches up with Fifi. I will tell him I only speak the international language of love and cannot understand one single thing he is asking. That should work. Don’t you think so, too?
Today I am headed to see my friend, Arrigo.
On my way to see him I passed lovely tables set for…
a bite of anything tasty Venice might offer.
What a lovely reception I had! Everyone wanted to see me but most of all, my sweet friend Arrigo Cipriana, the owner of the bar! He was waiting for me with one of his famous drinks already made! You see, the Bellini was created at his bar…no wonder I adore him so much!
I thought to take a few pictures of the table settings but unfortunately, the only table dressings here are the beloved Bellini! I think they make up a perfect tablescape. Don’t you? After a lovely afternoon of fun and gossip with Arrigo, I set off in search of the perfect outfit to wear to Fifi’s fabulous gala ball!
I left the bar knowing exactly where I was going but then I realized Venice had trapped me in it’s maze and I was mercifully lost!
It was a lovely lost, I must say!
I finally had to admit that I had made an unfixable detour and ask for help. A very nice man offered his services so I hopped in one of these boats and he rowed me back to civilization.
I was running out of time to find my perfect mask! Thankfully I came across a store that could help me and I walked out…
I was all dressed and perfectly coiffed just in time for my escort to float up to our front door and join me at the party. Yes, my sweet gondolier from this morning was most thrilled to be on my arm for the ball. He looks so…words fail me…doesn't he? Oh, Italia is just so Italian!
Fifi’s ball was perfect and special just like she is! We danced and had much merriment well into the early hours of the night. Just as I was thinking the night couldn't be more special, Marzio suggested a midnight float around Venice…and then it was…more perfect.
Oh, my …*blush*
Just as the sun was coming up I finally found my way to my bed…did I mention once at all how fabulous all that is Venice is?
And if you were wondering? All the masks at the ball kept that hot little FBI man from discovering us but trust me, I had my eye on him all night. I think the FBI might be a FAB club to join!
I have done some research while here. Tomorrow I will introduce you to all that is Fashionably Friday and FABULOUS about gondolas. It was exhausting work but I did it all for you! You will thank me.
To see more Venice fun with Fifi and Petunia go see Fifi!
For more lovely tablescapes please visit Between Naps On The Porch!
(All images from Google images and Petunia does not know Arrigo Cipriana but if she ever gets to Venice, trust me, she will!)
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I am an |
