Don't hate me because I am beautiful.

Women and cats do as they dammed well please, and

men and dogs had best learn to live with it.

Everything I know I learned from my cat:

When you're hungry, eat.

When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam.

When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner.

The naming of cats is a difficult matter.

It isn't just one of your holiday games.

You may think at first I'm mad as a hatter.

When I tell you a cat must have three different names...

-- T.S. Eliot

"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat." Albert Einstein, when asked to describe the radio.

I wonder how he would explain twitter?

Always give generously. A small bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, I care.

Climb your way to the top. That's why the drapes are there.
Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
Find your place in the sun. Especially if it happens to be on that nice pile of warm, clean laundry.
If you're not receiving enough attention, try knocking over several expensive antique lamps.

Life is hard, then you nap.
Make your mark in the world. Or at least spray in each corner.
Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone's face.
Variety is the spice of life. One day ignore people, the next day annoy them.
When eating out, think nothing of sending back your meal twenty or thirty times.
When in doubt, cop an attitude.

Amen.

Iris, PeePee, The Big Girl

(Yes, I have three names. Of course I do. I am the CAT.)